You’ve already won some level of my affection. STEP YOUR DAMN GAME UP. Please and thank you.
The church cannot function as “holier than thou” separatists any longer - disengaging from society so as to not become “contaminated” helps no one. If the heart is clean what are we afraid of?
I felt naked for the first time.
So I guess i’ll just use this as my personal journal or something… Rather than reposting silly photos of things.
That being said, so yeah feeling naked. When we think of feeling naked we think of… Well the absence of clothes? What do clothes do? They protect the public from seeing our uhhh private parts. well today I actually felt naked. Stripped. But not in a physical sense… More so a spiritual sense. NOW wait… Before you leave and think I’m going to get all religious on you YOU ARE WRONG! to be honest I don’t even know who I am talking to because this is the first time I’ve signed on to my tumblr in a coons age. BUT anyways if you are reading this that’s rad… If not… That’s fine cause this is going to be the place where I write down my raw, ugly, true, beautiful self in. Welp anyways back to being naked. So my discipleship group (a group of people wanting to be more like disciples) encourages fasting a lot… And I’m a realist… And well quite frankly fasting to me sounds rather difficult. Duh. They gave our group the option of fasting food or media. Now, this was encouraged but not forced… I found myself wanting to fast food because honestly if I really think about it, I felt like fasting food would be easier… Yup I wanted to take the easy route. But deep deep down in my heart I knew God was pushing me gently to fast social media. I found myself wrestling with this and struggling because I couldn’t bring myself to fast Instagram. I tried 5
Mins in the morning and 5
Minutes at night… That didn’t last for more than a couple days. I did not realize how much of a slave I was to social media. That probably sounds foolish to most of you, but it’s true. Today I felt an uneasy feeling in my heart and I couldn’t pinpoint what it was. I felt defeated even though I knew that was a lie and I should claim victory everyday. I called my friend Alishia and I had no idea what I was going to say but I felt led too. So she picks up the phone and the words literally just came out of my mouth “I think I need to fast media but I don’t know where to start.” Now that I think about it… It’s kinda funny how God just knew and put those words in my mouth haha! she told me to give all my passwords to someone I trusted and have them change the passwords for however long I wanted to fast for until further notice. I was in.
I went to my favorite cafe in downtown Lancaster and called my friend immediately! She agreed and told me she thought this will be good for me. As I slowly texted her my passwords I felt affirmation from God. This had to be done. I deleted one app at a time. Instagram gone. Facebook gone. Vine gone. Twitter gone. Pinterest gone. All these things that distracted me from possibly using my time wiser. It felt liberating. It felt freeing. It felt… Slightly uncomfortable? Wait… Don’t I get a gold star from doing this? Nope. It hit me. I felt stripped. Naked. Having almost nothing? Why? Natasha you say your identity is in Christ. You were so confident to say that and think that AND believe that! No… Little did you know that you built a home where Instagram, Facebook, and vine completely gave you some sort of identity. You cared Wayyy to much about what people saw when they see your page. It gave you power. It made you feel important. I could not believe it. How ashamed I felt for a couple minutes until I realized that God wants to strip everything I have that I possible still idolize and take it away til all I have is him. Wooo man. throughout today it was such an eye opener to see how much of my thoughts and time were consumed by what I might possible post… Or… Just my motives with things. Even as I was hanging out with my friends tonight, I must have picked up my phone about ten times thinking I needed to check Instagram… And realized I didn’t have it. Talk about discipline. Anyways… It feels slightly uncomfortable but I know my mind will be more sensitive to the spirit and what Gods trying to show me through my life… And I guess the absence of addicting media that controlled much of my time.
